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Nine Toes the Bard

from Nine Toes the Bard by Nine Toes the Bard

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lyrics

Nine Toes the Bard

There once was a Bard with one hell of a curse
Her mem’ry was sharp – she’d recite every verse
Her strings, they tuned true, and her drum did the same
But no one remembered her name
Oh, no one remembered her name

She’d hold their attention all night in a bar
Her voice held them captive – her tales took them far
But they’d ne’er call her back, and that was a shame
‘Cause no one remembered her name
Oh, no one remembered her name

They’d all sing …
There goes the Bard - There goes the Bard
Her stories were clever - her fingers were deft
We drank all the ale ‘til there was none left
She was lovely and managed our EVERY request
We’d love to have her back – it’s a shame
We can’t remember her name
Oh, we can’t remember her name

The Bard made a livin’ – she coulda done worse
But she coulda done better, if not for that curse
The ticket to increase her fortune and fame
Folks must remember her name
They must remember her name

She traveled due North – she traveled down South
She searched for some magic to rub that spell out
But e’er she traveled – the story’s the same
No one remembered her name
Oh, no one remembered her name

They’d all sing …
There goes the Bard – There goes the Bard
If the local boys tossed her about in their beds
They remembered their toes curled – how they lost their heads
Her cello shaped hips – oh, their fantasies fed
They remembered her bosom and her red, curly mane
But they couldn’t remember her name
They couldn’t remember her name

‘Twas a dragon was said that might ruin her curse
If that lecherous lizard didn’t ruin her first
The Bard sought him out and said, “Baby, I’m game!”
If folks will remember my name
Ay, if they’ll remember my name


“I’ll fix your dilemma,” the Dragon spoke true
“You’ll sleep with me this night, and I’ll take my due”
The Bard steeled herself and stepped into that flame
All for the want of a memorable name

And the Dragon sssssaid …
“Come here me Bard – Come here me Bard
I’ll not singe your eyebrows, nor nip at your nose
My particular fetish – Oooooh, LOOK AT THOSE TOES!
I think that I’d like a percentage of those!
Oh, yesss, they’ll remember your name
Oh, yesss, they’ll remember your name”

That Dragon he leered with those lizardly eyes
Said, “Don’t worry, I’ve flame to CAUTERIZE”
He lunged for her feet without any foreplay
And the Bard fainted dead away
Oh, the Bard fainted dead away

She woke in the mornin’ – the Dragon was gone
Feelin’ akilter – ay, something was wrong
She didn’t feel used and she didn’t feel cheap
But somethin’ was missin’ – she lifted the sheets
“It’s a good thing I don’t play guitar with my feet!”
But, I think they’ll remember my name
Oh, yes, they’ll remember my name

Now everyone sings …
Nine Toes the Bard! Nine Toes the Bard!
Her stories are witty – her fingers are swift
Her rhythm is spot on – she’s got quite the gift
She plays with her boots off and walks with a limp
She’s Nine Toes the Bard! Nine Toes the Bard!
Nine Toes the Bard! Nine Toes the Bard!

Now there’s a Dragon who treasures that one toe … on ice
And a Bard who was willin’ to sacrifice
A piece of her sole – s o l e – for the sake of her art
And we all remember her name, oh
We all remember her name
She’s Nine Toes the Bard! Nine Toes the Bard!
Nine Toes the Bard! Nine Toes the Bard!

credits

from Nine Toes the Bard, released March 28, 2017

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Mama Gina Tampa, Florida

Award winning singer/songwriter & wanderlust ... fearless story-telling ... bluesy vocals ... humor ... straight-ahead, rhythmic, 12 string acoustic guitar ... djembe ... frame drums ... all weft and warp of the soul of this bard

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